What name do you give that other version of yourself and when does he or she serve you well or poorly? We all have those other versions of us - "here comes Alice or Bob!" They can be triggered by things such as hunger, intoxication, impatience, et cetera. Often they are noticed by those close to us - spouses or siblings. In leadership, effective leaders take note of and understand these people, and they know when they are useful or not. My coach Jim Hughes put me through this self-awareness exercise and I've leaned on it ever since as I lead and interact with my friends, loved ones, and the world. There are eight versions of me. The rules don't apply to Wilhelm. Lloyd is the commander who can rally the team and take the hill. Hugh is resentful and jealous. Today I'd like you to meet Cecil.

Don't blink your eyes, it will be Christmas day. What is it with this time of year? On the one hand it ought to be a time of giving, of gathering with workmates, family, and reflections of the year. On the other, the days seem to speed by and the pressure mounts to squeeze in work and our busy lives between the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. As the Christmas countdown starts, commercials and social media pressure us to get those gifts and mail them off before it is too late. I always feel I'm behind the power curve - like I haven't decorated in time, finished my shopping and planned for pre-Christmas gatherings. Sounds like I need some leadership!

I don't know about you but I've been to several conferences, meet-ups, and networking events in 2022, a welcome change from the virtual pandemic years. Many of them I find, include a small, colored paper bag with rope handles or a cloth tote full of goodies or swag as it is now called. If not in a bag, this swag is placed at each seat at a conference table or raffled off just for attending the event. Swag is a great way to entice people to attend and for companies to get recognition.

As John Maxwell says, "leadership is influence - nothing less, nothing more." I use this often when talking about and defining leadership. The United States Army uses influence in its definition of leadership. Indeed, that is what a leader is trying to do - influence the behaviors and activities of others. Influence occurs through word and deed. In this blog, I'll focus on word. Words matter, especially from a leader. Subordinates will grasp onto the words spoken by a leader and use them to guide their efforts. Leaders are speakers.

I heard this for the first time last week. Mike Rowe, a television host who has often spoken about the "war on work," mentioned pet bereavement policies in his concern over work ethic. My initial reaction was, "what?" "really?" My puzzlement gave way to rational thought. "Is this something we need to foster a healthy work environment?" "What does the modern worker need?"

Ok, I'll hang with politics for a bit longer but, of course, I'll place my emphasis on leadership. Simply put, there is an epidemic of unhealthy disagreement these days and I find that too many political leaders are focused more on attacking a person, political party, or identified group instead of the substance and efficacy of an idea or policy. Leaders have taken this to extremes fueling ego and anger and the media gobbles it up and perpetuates it. Social media is a contributor as well. Make no mistake. As I wrote in a previous blog on Ukraine, it will be our downfall as a nation.

While the mid-term election results are still pouring in and we have a run-off election to wait on (or more?) I'm thankful they are mostly over. Congratulations to those individuals elected by the people. For those who lost, I hope they do so gracefully and professionally. I hope they spend more time learning from their experience, decisions, and words, than they do pointing fingers. As always, I'll remain apolitical here, focusing instead on leadership.

Happy Veterans Day. On this day in 1918, at the 11th hour, an armistice was signed by warring parties to end hostilities and bring World War I to a close. Armistice Day as it was originally called, became Veterans Day in June of 1954, recognizing all veterans of all wars. Today Veterans Day recognizes all who served their nation whether they served in combat or not. Each of them wrote a blank check to their country, payable with their lives. Veterans Day is for the living. While we honor our fallen each day, Memorial Day is dedicated to those who paid the ultimate price for their country. Today you can focus on those you know who served their country. And I add their wonderful spouses to this group.

It is healthy in an organization to promote a thirst for knowledge - to challenge the unknown, uncover problems, unearth lessons, and grow under a quest for discovery and learning. "I don't know," as statement by itself is counter to that.

Allow me to steal from the infamous "Murphy's Law." Murphy's general premise, "if it can go wrong, it will go wrong," is the heart of his philosophy. We used this phrase and several Murphy's Law adages frequently, especially in an after action review where our mistakes were glaringly obvious. Edward A. Murphy was an aerospace engineer who served in the Army and Air Force. His 'law' gained fame during a series of failed tests on rockets in the mid 1940's. Read more here if you wish. I clearly remember this philosophy encapsulated in the hilarious (and true) list called, "Murphy's Laws of Combat." Besides Combat, there are Murphy's laws of Technology, Love, and Sex. Find them here.

The moral of this story is perseverance and tenacity. Sometimes you have to push and persevere against all odds. In 2006 I was a Major serving in the Army's 82nd Airborne Division. My family and I were headed to the Smoky Mountains for a long weekend break. It was late Friday evening and I was on the highway headed west when my cell phone rang. My heart skipped a beat. I was serving in the 82nd after all, and calls from work long after close of business were customary. And they were never good news.

Take attendance? Hell yes! Taking attendance is not an old-fashion elementary school activity. It is part of the good order and discipline people desire in the workplace. I expand on discipline - workplace (not military) discipline in my book, "It's Personal, Not Personnel." Of course, if it is done in the 'teacher calling out each name' style then a leader risks belittling their team. They are adults after all. All of this aside, there is goodness in taking attendance in meetings and other events where people are expected to be.

I'm a product of countless leaders I encountered in my military career. I watched all of them intently - copied methods and words which worked, discarded things which did not. I never found the perfect leader. One does not exist but I took away all the good and I practice it today. I remember sayings which I thought were particularly bad and, as I coach and lead people, I refrain from saying them. Here are a few.

What exactly are we being asked to do? What are all the tasks and sub-tasks involved? Who doesn't want total clarity? Unfortunately that is not possible. It is unrealistic to believe that a leader can determine and direct every action involved with a project, mission, or problem to be solved, especially, and most importantly, how it will affect people. Therefore, it is incumbent on individuals and teams to determine those tasks, not specifically directed, which will lead to accomplishment of the mission, and how they affect people.

"NCOs fly by the seat of their pants Rob. Officers read the book." A commander of mine once told me that when coaching me on my role as a young officer. NCOs or non-commissioned officers, the sergeants of the Army, had (and still have) a tremendous reputation built on experience and knowledge. NCOs taught me practically everything about being an infantryman. My boss was generalizing of course, to emphasize principle - the manuals which guided everything we did in the Army. My lack of experience would be overcome by reading, following, and enforcing principles. My NCO teammate could achieve expediency guided by his or her experience. I needed both.

Leaders should be cautious of those things which drain the energy or demotivate their people in the workplace. A demotivated person will not perform at their peak or worse, may choose to "quiet quit" or leave the company for good. The key is truly knowing your people. In my book, "It's Personal, Not Personnel," I quote Corinda Lubin-Katz a creative writer who states, "...knowing someone lends itself to an organic ability to anticipate their reaction to things - to know when and how their anger will thaw, what sparks their passion and what that passion looks like, and what constitutes an expression of their love..." Getting to this level of knowledge takes time, hence the word investment. It comes through shared experiences, social (outside work) interaction, and quality one-on-one time.

Almost every big event in a business requires a narrative - the announcement and explanation given by a leader to the organization's people. If left to chance or just left unsaid, the rank and file will create the narrative on its own and it could be horribly wrong. Rumors can form which poison the climate and culture of a business. I frequently felt this requirement and responsibility to communicate with my people, especially after something important happened. I formed and took ownership of the narrative. I saw it as a choice. Own it or surrender it.

In any organization, there will always exist tension between those doing the work and those directing it. The 'higher headquarters' sends directives downward to a confused, overworked, and disgruntled 'rank and file.' The 'rank and file' does its work each day ignorant of the big picture and the clever work of 'higher headquarters' developing such an impactful task designed to take the organization to new heights. In this battle of us against them, the rank and file, because they are doing the physical labor, seem to get a greater level of empathy. It is a leader's job, therefore, as a member of neither to create understanding and harmony - to remain a neutral figure.

"You don't manage my expectations, I manage yours." A boss of mine once stated this in a meeting when a subordinate offered to manage his expectations. Aside from being thankful it was not me on the receiving end of that response, it got me thinking, "what is with this phrase?" "Is it useful?" One thing I took from his response was, this phrase would be reserved for the leader's not the subordinate's use. Hmm. Maybe the phrase but not the concept.

President Vladimir Putin has taken to recruiting to fill the ranks of the Russian military to fuel his contemptible war in Ukraine. By several news accounts it is not going well. There are reports of men defecting, population protests, and even the pardoning of jailed thieves and criminals. I wonder if this is truly a recruiting campaign or something more like coercion of military-age males. Regardless, whether it is a nation like Russia or even a small company looking to fill its ranks, it helps to have a noble cause.