I've coached hundreds of leaders. With each person we start the coaching journey with self-awareness. I use the Forté Institute’s® Communication Intelligence Survey and Assessment. This assessment measures strengths in dominance, introversion/extroversion, patience, and conformity. Among other factors, such as logic style, goal achievement, motivators and de-motivators, the survey sometimes warns against criticism against the person offering caution to anyone interacting with them. I always coach leaders to offer feedback to their people, which often comes in the form of criticism. However, I urge them to offer it tactfully. Here is a way.

Nobody wants to take the blame for things they did not direct or could not control. Unfortunately it is not always possible, convenient, or proper to deflect blame. When a manufacturer produces a product which is defective, a business may desire to pass the blame, absolving itself of wrongdoing. Unfortunately a customer doesn't care nor should they.

Responsibility is the ethos of good leadership. When it is lacking, leaders and teams must admit it. Indeed, no good leader aims to be irresponsible. However, situations occur outside of one's control where leaders and their teams cannot exercise true responsibility. Oxford Languages provides needed clarity in its definition of responsible - having an obligation to do something, or having control or care for someone, as part of one's role. Exactly! Because responsibility is so important, when it is lacking or when responsibility is paramount, leaders should bring the word 'irresponsible' into their lexicon.

"It's all about culture in the workplace," I heard uttered from a panelist at a conference I attended. The audience was receptive but I wondered if they truly understood what culture meant or if they could define it. I wondered if the panelist could define it. I was doubtful. Words are cheap. Definitions are expensive.

We've gone digital instead of personal. Automated employee engagement applications tout manager - employee interaction. Texting and emailing from the palm of our hands replaces real conversations even in the same building. Nobody 'picks up a phone' anymore. We swipe (or ignore) the vibrating, chiming device in our pocket which has come to dominate our lives. Zoom (or the like) meetings have replaced the effort we used to put forth assembling, interacting, bonding, and problem solving. Even many doorbells are now mini cameras where the occupant can communicate without opening the door. Indeed, I'm not alone in noticing this. Technology dominance has seeped into our dinner table conversations, comedy routines, and other social circles. Have our handheld computers replaced our ability to call or visit other people?

Let me introduce a phrase and concept which was often used in my military career. 'Walk the dog' meant going all the way to completion or understanding of a problem or concept. When one walks the dog, one does so to completion, meaning the dog is exercised and has relieved itself so that it may be returned home. When a leader used that phrase I knew we were going to spend quality time thinking through something and solving it if we could. 'Walk the dog' was catchy, like many other phrases but it needed to be backed by intent. Walk the dog for what?

Leaders must constantly give guidance and intent - specific and general, to steer their people and drive their organizations to excellence. In the U.S. Army soldiers clung to commander's guidance and intent. Ignoring it or forgetting it could be catastrophic. Leaders became experts at it and gave it constantly so that it would be put to memory.

Emotions are a difficult thing to manage, especially in leadership. Subordinates look for the steady, calm, somewhat emotionless leader, especially when tension is high. Indeed, there is a time and place for emotions. When feeling particularly sad about someone's pain or excited to take on a new challenge, there is nothing wrong with emotional leadership. Subordinates want a leader who is real and authentic after all. However, when anger is involved, emotions degrade a leader's effectiveness.

Kenny, an Army friend of mine once was coaching a business leader on how to better lead his people. He and I were talking about this person's challenges discussing what we thought were the problems and solutions. One thing Kenny mentioned stuck with me. The leader told him that he wanted to assemble his team for a leadership huddle to share some guidance, training, and inspiration. It would be an after-hours event to prevent interrupting the business. One person in the group asked if they would be paid for this time. I don't recall the business leader's response but he did share that he took offense to the question. Kenny told him, "That is actually a very good question." He was right. I would have paid them.

As a leadership author, consultant, coach, speaker, and trainer following my 27-years in the U.S. Army I've taken on the cause of creating future leaders and helping organizations invest in their people. There exists an epidemic of bad leadership in companies and communities due largely to a void of leadership training and education in our academic institutions. For proof, look no further than Gallup's employee disengagement survey, which hovers around 65% disengaged employees in the workplace. I've made it my life's work so I'm always pleased to see conferences and programs which contain leadership in their title. I've noticed a disturbing trend however - leadership is missing from the agenda.

I need to state up front, I'm a champion of HR. When I took command or became the CEO of my brigade in the 101st Airborne Division, I brought my S-1 or my Senior VP of Human Resources into my inner circle, meaning, I met with her daily and took updates from her constantly. Most Army commanders did not do this. It was customary of a commander to keep his or her operations officer or COO and his executive officer or deputy or Vice President close as he or she steered the enterprise. I assumed command knowing that investing in people was going to be my #1 priority. It worked. I produced the #1 brigade in the continental United States for human resource performance and we led our division in retention - my HR executive being my ambassador for and champion of that effort. I share how I did this in my first book, "It's Personal, Not Personnel."

In the early spring of 2008 I was an Army Lieutenant Colonel preparing for command of a battalion (400 soldiers) of paratroopers. I attended the Army's Pre-Command course to prepare myself for what would be a hallmark assignment. I would lead this unit in Afghanistan the following year. At the Pre-Command course we were visited by several Army senior leaders who offered their thoughts and wisdom on battalion command. I was hungry to take the reins of my battalion and with each senior leader visit I was armed with a pen and notebook to gather pearls of wisdom. I wanted something useful - something I could put into practice to make myself and my unit better.

Trust is the essential ingredient for a healthy relationship. Good leaders strive to form a bond of trust between them and their people. When trust is broken, often it cannot be repaired. I fired only a handful of leaders in my time in the Army. In each case, I had lost trust in them. Trust is gained as a relationship forms between leader and led. It occurs as the subordinate does the right thing far away from the leader following direction and when a leader gives autonomy and or comes to the defense of a subordinate. I believe real trust is formed away from work such as the break room, or at a company social event when two people come together to get to know each other and learn what motivates and demotivates each other.

It's September 11th, and it's time to remember. Lest we forget. Returning to horrific times like 9/11, the anniversary of the death of a loved one, or a significant failure in a team or business is hard to do. We naturally want to flush to those memories and focus instead on that which brings us peace, comfort, and joy. However, it is important to revisit tough times. Those times have something to offer us. They remind us of that which needs reminding. It is said that those who fail to remember or ignore history are doomed to repeat it. Very true.

Rest in peace Jimmy Buffett. I would not call my self a Parrothead - a die hard fan of Jimmy Buffet, though I do very much enjoy his songs. In my family I'm affectionately known as the "Spin Master." I'm the one who chooses the songs when we are gathered with family and friends. Jimmy Buffett is always in the cue. Like many passing artists, through recent encomiums and documentaries I've gained a deeper appreciation for Buffetts' body of work. And, of course, looking through the lens of leadership - influencing others, I arrive here, armed with the pen or keyboard in this case, ready to share what leaders do.

On Saturday, the 19th of August, 2023 I crashed on my BMW motorcycle near the Cherohala Skyway in mountains of Eastern Tennessee. I don't remember the crash but, given the damage to my riding gear and motorcycle, I believe the bike came out from underneath me on a sharp corner and I fell backwards hitting my head on the pavement. I was flown to a hospital in Knoxville, Tennessee where I learned I suffered broken bones to my nose, right shoulder, several ribs on my back, and some vertebrate. The breaks were minor enough that I was able to walk out of the hospital late Monday afternoon without a cast, brace, or sling. My recovery will be slow and steady but I'll be fine. So too will the businesses I own and run.

This week I was delivering one of my signature keynote addresses - "Leading by Investing in People," to a Chamber of Commerce leadership program. The audience was engaged and asked thoughtful questions. One question came from a younger leader who had several people in his charge older than him. He asked my advice on leading them. Here is what I shared.

"I'm in the know." I heard that a lot in my military career. It meant having the required information to operate effectively or being up to date on a situation. Not everyone was in the know. There were the rank and file who performed tactical tasks waiting for the next set of orders and there were senior commanders who didn't need all of the information as they focused more on the bigger picture, strategy, and the future.

Agatha Fry, she made a pie

And Christopher John helped bake it

Christopher John, he mowed the lawn

And Agatha Fry helped rake it

A sign of a healthy workplace is when the employees feel safe busting on each other. I'm talking about good-hearted jabs at one another - humor which breaks up the monotony at work. Larry always thinks the sky is falling. Sarah can't stand it when there is a dirty coffee cup left in the kitchen sink. Ralph has the most awkward yet hilarious laugh, and Joanne seems to come to work each Monday with a new scratch or dent in her car. Mark drives notoriously slow and Cathy is Mrs. Impatient. You pick the quirk, it is these flaws which make us human and if we can have some respectful fun with each other at work, people will enjoy being there.