Read that quote above one more time and ponder how you or a leader of yours reacted to a previous crisis. I implore you to pause, if only momentarily, when crisis strikes and remind yourself that you’ve “been here before” in a training scenario or a previous crisis or operational disruption. Maybe in that moment of pause, you’ll even remember what I’m about to offer in my coming book, Left and Right of the Boom. I wrote this book for you so it might serve as your personal training for every “boom!” that awaits you. The power of reflection — of coming back to the muscle memory of crisis response — has served me well when things have blown up in my life and career. In countless scenarios played out on training grounds, in classrooms, and on battlefields, I was guided indeed by reason, principles, and my core beliefs, moral code, and values, but mostly by my training. Practice may or may not “make perfect,” but having been there — in body and spirit — allows us to start from a place of experience when crisis strikes.

Not everyone desires to lead yet, we are all leaders. Whenever I host leadership training – typically in the first session, I poll the group asking, “who here is a leader?” Not all the hands go up. I then challenge the group, “all of you are leaders.” Leadership is influence and each of us is influencing someone – children, clients, salespeople, and even our bosses each day. We use a variety of communication means, reason, logic, even emotions, and facial expressions to get others to do what they otherwise might not. While everyone leads in some fashion, formal leaders hold a position – manager, director, Vice President, CEO, Mom or Dad to name a few. With this position comes sacrifice. You up for it?

I’ve always believed in leader presence – how a leader communicates and behaves – how they carry themselves, even how they dress. Should leaders have perks? Special treatment? These are valid questions, and the best leaders will wrestle with them. As a leader, I typically had the biggest office and more staff around me to help me. I made more money than anyone else. I didn’t view these things as perks, rather, requirements and reimbursements for the job I had to perform and for carrying all the risk in an organization. My bigger office allowed me to think strategically away from the hustle and bustle. It allowed me to meet with people in private in the convenience of my own office amidst a demanding schedule. Those who assisted me, helped me lead more effectively benefiting everyone. If the ship sank I, and only I would go down with it. All of this said, I still operated with humility. I still enjoyed rolling up my sleeves to be with the team to show them that I was not above hard, sometimes dirty work. Along with this, I wanted to look like my people in terms of dress, but not always.

I own a painting company. We do interior and exterior, all surface painting. I started it last year in part because of my horrible experience with painters. I went through four painters to paint my blinds business showroom. One never showed up, two showed up and did some measurements and I never heard from them again, and the third showed up, painted but then deceived me as to the final cost. I knew I could do it better. I found a fine young man of character to partner with to start and run a painting company. We had many discussions, I conducted ample research into the trade, and we built a plan.

In sports, the debate rages – player or coach as the key to a team’s championships? Most notable is the Brady Belichick debate. Was Tom Brady, the New England Patriot’s quarterback responsible for 6 championships – an impossible feat in a challenging league such as the National Football League? Was it coach Bill Belichick who was the key to the Patriot’s success? I’ll leave this debate to the sports fanatics and pundits and shift to leadership. I don’t believe a single person can carry the day. For this blog player will mean subordinate, and coach, leader or boss.

Think about roles you have fulfilled in companies and organizations. You probably had a primary role you fulfilled or task that you accomplished which contributed to a greater overall mission. If you got your part right, all was good – a single swimming lane. You may have been a leader overseeing several lanes, unable to focus on a single one, hoping everyone would not only perform superbly in their lane but contribute to the other lanes in support of the greater mission and vision.

Ah electronic mail, otherwise known as email. I, along with many of you are old enough to remember its advent. The contemporary workplace, indeed, our world has benefitted from email – sending what used to take a pen and paper or a typewriter and some postage in a matter of seconds. One can even attach additional documents, website links, pictures, and videos with ease.  With a simple click of a button, message sent. One of the benefits of email is that it prevents constant interruptions. Send something and the receiver can open and read it at their convenience. The ease and convenience of email, however, requires discipline and a methodology understood by sender and receiver. Otherwise, messages can be misunderstood, inconvenient, poorly delivered, and even inappropriate.

Investigations. Everyone despises them. Investigations send a message of, “you’ve done wrong, and we will get you.” What moral and ethical leader of character wants that? Unfortunately, investigations are a part of our lives in organizations and in leadership. Indeed, investigations are useful when the truth must be determined, and the innocent protected. They should be done to determine wrongdoing and root causes of problems in the quest for a greater good – not out of spite or because you dislike a person.

Lest we forget this Memorial Day Weekend. I had the honor of speaking at the dedication of a Fallen Heroes Memorial in San Mateo, California this week. The event was special and moving in so many ways. In honor of the fallen, I worked diligently and carefully on this speech. It captures my feelings of Memorial Day, how I believe the fallen still have a voice, and what messages and legacies they leave for us. Here is an excerpt of it. Share it with your co-workers, family, and friends because lest we forget.

I’ll throw these ugly words at you right away, like a punch in the face: policy, compliance, non-disclosure, and human resource. There are plenty more. When I hear these words I shift in my seat. They pull me from my core belief as a leader – investing in people toward something impersonal. I spend time on this in Chapter 2 of my first book, “It’s Personal, Not Personnel.” These ugly words counter positive and impactful words which serve as the backbone of a life loving and leading people – for instance, trust, relationships, transparency, belonging, people. There are many more of course. Indeed, these ugly words have a place in the modern business, though I believe leaders must take extra steps through effective communication to ensure everyone on their team understands their intent behind the use of these words.

This blog comes to you from Costa Rica! I’m enjoying a relaxing week with my wife Leslie at a coastal resort. The Cost Rican people are warm and friendly, and this trip has been eventless with ample pool time and lovely people bringing us things – all by design. Costa Rica is a small, relatively poor country yet very stable for Central America. It attracts many Americans. Our rooms are equipped with American standard electrical B Type outlets and USB ports for charging phones and computers. Debit cards work easily here and there is generous internet coverage. My cell phone might have a few less G’s but it works great as if I were home at work. All this modern technology poses a problem. I can remain connected to work in real time.

March 8th, 2009 was a beautiful day. The weather was warm, the sun abundant, and the winds calm – an eerie resemblance of September 11th, 2001. On this day I was in Afghanistan as an Army Lieutenant Colonel in command of a squadron (400 people) of paratroopers serving during the surge of forces under Operation Enduring Freedom. Two days later, on the front end of a 12-month combat deployment, I would assume command of a task force numbering over 700 people who would fight together in the rugged mountains along the Pakistan border – an area scarred deeply by decades of war. I was anxious, hungry to lead, to take the fight to the enemy, and to make a difference in the year ahead. That peaceful morning would turn dark and chaotic. A soldier was killed by an improvised explosive device or IED. My soldier. Private First Class Patrick A. Devoe II. In an instant, my unit was thrust into crisis. Were we ready? Was I ready? This crisis would demand an answer to those questions. It would demand the best of my leadership.

“Nervous (perspiring airline passenger)? Yes. First time (referring to flying)? No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.” I love this line from the 1980 disaster comedy film, Airplane. Here is the link to watch the clip. Everyone hates that nervous feeling they get when facing something challenging such as leadership. We yearn to grow out of it – to achieve a level of confidence which keeps our anxiety at bay. We seek order where life is easy and predictable. New flash: it will never happen. Not if one desires to lead and grow. I’ve said before, there exists no fully confident, and competent leader. We are all imperfect in some way, and our flaws, along with our inexperience, are typically what cause our angst.

I served once under an Army three-star general. He was in command of an Army Corps which numbers in the tens of thousands. I was a younger officer, born on the day he was commissioned as an Army officer in fact. The assignment was a period of substantial personal and professional growth. He told and taught me numerous things. One thing he told me early in our tenure struck me as strange – “Rob, it’s the small things which bother me, not the big.” The corps headquarters could be ablaze at 2 in the morning, and he would receive that news as if you were sharing the weather forecast, but if documents were stapled and placed in a three-ring binder simultaneously he would get agitated, angry even, especially if it happened repeatedly. There were other small things which I once thought petty, however, as I matured, I came to realize little things do matter.

The verbs are the same, it’s just the nouns which are different. I always repeat this pearl of wisdom when speaking with an audience or a single person. I heard it years ago from a retired Army officer in a large private sector medical company. It hit me like a punch in the face – like that profound statement which freezes you in your tracks and preoccupies your mind for hours, even days. I’ve never forgotten it and I’ve used it to teach others.

Great question, isn't it? I've seen it left unanswered many times. Admittedly I've left it unanswered myself a few times. I learned from it though, and I'm now more conscious of it. This important question goes unanswered in meetings where senior leaders gather and toss ideas back and forth, imagining a future or visioning. Creating vision - discussing an imagined future for a team is important work. Indeed, it starts with that - looking deep into the future picturing a gathering of people doing what is imagined to the best of their ability then codifying it in an inspiring statement - a vision statement. Then the hard work begins.

It was customary in the Army to move from unit to unit - each one with its own rich history, identifying patch, and motto. We would 'soldier' in each one of them - 'soldier' meaning to do the rigorous work morning and night, laboring and sweating, and challenging oneself and others to be their very best in the name of the unit. We committed ourselves fully to each of these units we were in, repeating their motto and singing their song - "Oh yea, I was in the 505th! H-minus!" 

Two years of my 27-year military career - 2008-2010 were spent in Alaska. It was a hallmark assignment for me, commanding a cavalry squadron of about 400 men and women - paratroopers. I would prepare the unit for combat and deploy it to Afghanistan during the surge of forces under Operation Enduring Freedom in 2009. I share some of this story in my upcoming book, "Left and Right of the Boom. The Art of Leadership, Before, During, and After Crisis." Stay tuned! Left behind while we fought on the other side of the globe in the mountains of Afghanistan, were numerous families agonizing over our wellbeing and keeping us connected to the them, our families, and the world through mail and emails. They were led by these amazing women pictured above.

From a confused look to a clear set of verbal instructions, we communicate all day, every day in a variety of ways. George Bernard Shaw, an Irish playwright, critic, and political activist famously stated, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." I love this quote as it forces me to examine what I have communicated and how it may have been received, if at all. As a leader, I have this internal voice which whispers to me, "answer the question," "seek or demonstrate acknowledgement," or "don't hit send yet." This voice is the discipline instilled in me in my Army training, for if my messages were not received - if I failed to communicate clearly, disaster could occur. Don't hit send yet.

We make decisions every day, all day, and while these decisions have consequences, most are small. When we were young, especially in our teens, we yearned for authority and autonomy. We have authority as adults save for laws and what rules we comply with at work. What authority do your people have?